Competitive Parenting - This Weeks Experience

Who cares if?

You formula feed – I breast feed

You started solids at 4 months – I waited until 6 months

Your baby is heavier than mine

You let you baby cry (scream & vomit) themselves to sleep as ‘self-settling’ is important – I rock, feed, cuddle and hold my baby to sleep

You follow whatever the latest book says is right – I follow my baby’s cues

You don’t use crib bumpers – I do

Your baby goes to bed at 7 – my baby goes to bed at 9

Your baby has 8 teeth – Mine has 2

Your baby has brand new cloths – And my baby rocks the pre-loved threads

Your baby is forward facing at 6 months – My baby is still rear facing at 9 months

Your baby doesn’t watch TV EVER – My baby likes to dance with Ellen

Your baby can say the alphabet – My baby can do that AND in 3 languages

Your baby can surf the web – My baby built it

Your baby can drive a car – my baby can fly

When is parenting YOUR baby how YOUR baby needs you to going to be acceptable to other people without them trying to tell you how to do it RIGHT (aka their way)?

Does it really affect you if I sit on my couch at 9pm with my lump of love in my arms and rock her to sleep? Does it really affect you if I take her into my bed at 2am because I would rather get SOME sleep than have her scream for 3 hrs before finally giving up and fall asleep feeling forgotten and abandon?

Its exhausting trying to defend your parenting style every time you meet up with other parents.  What is important is that you are confident in yourself, your baby, your partner and the decisions you make when you are a parent.  If your baby is not in danger from your choices and is relaxed, happy and content with life – If your style works for you than why change?

This has been our lesson this week.  I will no longer question if i and parenting the “right” way anymore. I will not feel inadequate as a mother. I will not feel like I am ‘Creating a monster’. I will not let my baby ‘Cry it out’. I will sit with her in my arms, snuggle in close, smell her hair, kiss her chubby cheeks and rock her to sleep. I will soak up every last drop of baby goodness every minute I am blessed with. Live if far too short and unpredictable for me to shut my poor baby in a dark room by herself and wait for her to cry herself to sleep – all so I can make her “independent” – I want her to depend on me just like she has from the minute she was created – why change that now?

I am off to rock my non weened, rear facing, crib bumpered, breastfeeding, 2 teeth, full of love, cuddly, chubby, joyful, chatty baby girl to sleep!

What you can expect to be like as a parent...

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and  wash and boil it.
 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

Happy Parenting - Enjoy the ride!

"Dont eat that , You'll get worms"

This is just one phrase on an eternally looong list of one liners our parents used to tell us.

Why? Perhaps to show their superiority? Maybe it was their desire to make us aware of the world around us and how it works? Most likely it was because they couldn't think of anything else to outwit their know-it-all 4 year old or drive home their "I’m serious!" point of view.

You’re reading this recalling those phrases that seemed to fire out of your parents mouth with the speed of a cheetah...

A little "birdie" told me!
All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
Are you deaf or something?
Are you lying to me?
As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
Beds are NOT made for jumping on.  
Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you going out dressed like that?
Close the door, you weren’t born in a tent!

At some point in your life you muttered "I will never say that to my kid" - But you have! or will...Promise!

Just like the also famous "I hope you have a kid JUST like you" - Now you're sizing up your kids...its true isn’t it? There is one JUST like you! And if they have not been born yet - there's a storm brewing in the tea cup!
Now as you suffer a panic attack thinking about how you were as a teenager, University student and your responsibility free young adult self and stare at your sweet princess in a tutu giving you the cute two teeth smile - you realise the full impact of the statement your parents spoke over your children...But it’s too late now..You can’t get a refund - it’s you and "mini me" for the next 18 or so years sharing thoughtless one liners and spitting out the same phrases you said you never would.

As I type this, I shoot out stupid questions to my 8 month old like she can understand what I saying "Do you HAVE to do that?!", "why won’t you have another nap?", "why are you eating the house plant?!"
It's as if I expect her to turn around and give me the response I want...Instead she shoots me a look filled with attitude that only a sassy little piece of work can do and follows it up with blowing a raspberry in my direction..."As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say." 

"Yeah right Mum!"