"Dont eat that , You'll get worms"

This is just one phrase on an eternally looong list of one liners our parents used to tell us.

Why? Perhaps to show their superiority? Maybe it was their desire to make us aware of the world around us and how it works? Most likely it was because they couldn't think of anything else to outwit their know-it-all 4 year old or drive home their "I’m serious!" point of view.

You’re reading this recalling those phrases that seemed to fire out of your parents mouth with the speed of a cheetah...

A little "birdie" told me!
All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
Are you deaf or something?
Are you lying to me?
As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
Beds are NOT made for jumping on.  
Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you going out dressed like that?
Close the door, you weren’t born in a tent!

At some point in your life you muttered "I will never say that to my kid" - But you have! or will...Promise!

Just like the also famous "I hope you have a kid JUST like you" - Now you're sizing up your kids...its true isn’t it? There is one JUST like you! And if they have not been born yet - there's a storm brewing in the tea cup!
Now as you suffer a panic attack thinking about how you were as a teenager, University student and your responsibility free young adult self and stare at your sweet princess in a tutu giving you the cute two teeth smile - you realise the full impact of the statement your parents spoke over your children...But it’s too late now..You can’t get a refund - it’s you and "mini me" for the next 18 or so years sharing thoughtless one liners and spitting out the same phrases you said you never would.

As I type this, I shoot out stupid questions to my 8 month old like she can understand what I saying "Do you HAVE to do that?!", "why won’t you have another nap?", "why are you eating the house plant?!"
It's as if I expect her to turn around and give me the response I want...Instead she shoots me a look filled with attitude that only a sassy little piece of work can do and follows it up with blowing a raspberry in my direction..."As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say." 

"Yeah right Mum!"